We live to be happy.
However, sometimes I wonder if I'm really happy and I don't even know how to be happy.
So, what is true happiness? How can we be truly happy?
I'll start with my first love story.
There was a girl who was the same age as me.
She didn’t have long straight hair, but she had neat and short hair.
She wasn't very beautiful, but she had cute dimples when she smiled.
She had a bright and cheerful personality, but she was a shy girl.
When I saw the girl, I couldn't help but look at her. That was the first time I began to take an interest in the opposite sex, and the beginning of a crush.
I was very shy about women at that time. I had two older sisters, yet I remember how being a woman was difficult, so I couldn't say a word to her properly, and I only liked her with my heart. I lost track of time for a year.
As time went by, I became miserable. So even if I tried to let go of my feelings that I like, I couldn't control my mind by turning it off and on like a switch.
I thought I couldn't do it anymore. I was not good enough, but I decided to take courage and approach her. We got closer little by little and got to know each other. I decided to confess to the girl I had a crush on for one year.
On a snowy cold winter day, I told her my heart. With her fists gently clenched, she put them on her cheeks and nodded silently.
I was so happy that day. I had been waiting for this moment for a year, and the feelings were beyond description.
So, how long did the feeling and happiness last?
3 days! Surprisingly, just 3 days!
After three days, anxiety began to creep into my mind.
"What if this love doesn't last forever?"
"Can I continue to show good performance?"
"Does that lady really love me?"
I thought I would be happy if I got what I really wanted.
However, knowing that the condition of happiness will not last forever, fear is at the bottom of it. That happiness is temporary happiness, never true happiness.
So, what is true happiness?
True happiness is happiness that doesn’t change.
When we find happiness that doesn't change, without depending on the conditions, we can always be happy.
If you throw away the fake mind that you have through meditation, you can face your real heart.
Only then can I meet true happiness that doesn't change in me. When we can create happiness in ourselves, not from the outside, we can have the happiness we really want.
The world and conditions change with time, but it is the true mind in my heart that never changes.