Earlier Life Stages

1. The Message That Changed Everything (2009)

I can’t clearly remember how I felt at the time. In the blur of memory, it does seem that things were indeed like that. Because of financial difficulties from my father's business, my mom sent me a message that roughly said,

“From now on, you can only rely on yourself.”

It was in the first half of 2009. Yes,that was 17 years ago.

Life truly does not unfold according to our wishes, Also It does not allow everything to come easily. Vaguely, I remember the state I was in when I received that message: my mind went completely blank, because I had no clear skills that could support myself.

Yet at the same time, there was a faint sense of eagerness, a kind of positive impulse to try，to do the best. I had to gamble i would be fine.

But one thing was true,when you were left with no choices, you were instead pushed to search for different opportunities. Suddenly, the future seems to brighten again.

2. First Job, First Survival

My first job was as a night-shift worker at a barbecue restaurant. Because the restaurant was far from the place i lived, I used what little savings I had to buy a second-hand bicycle. Every day after school, I would ride my bike to work, and then finish on 2 am at next morning. The job was not easy,The pay was low, but at the very least, one benefit of working in a restaurant was that dinner was provided.

3. Drifting Years: Work, Loss, and Time

Later, my bicycle was stolen. Even now, I still remember the exact place where it happened.I had simply locked it there, and in a moment of carelessness, it was gone. I was quite shocked. It was the first time I realized that this country had thieves too. For a long period after that, I drifted between different restaurants, cleaning jobs, construction sites, and other temporary work. Saved little money. I bought a very old, beat-up car. I remember it was teal green, a 1992 Korean car—Daewoo—with manual transmission. It cost me 1,200 New Zealand dollars. Despite its age, it ran very well, and I truly liked it. Because it took me to earn my living cost.

Time gives everyone the same amount: seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day, sixty minutes an hour, sixty seconds a minute.For me back then, each day was incredibly full — so full that even sleep felt like a luxury. Later on, as I grew older and gained more work experience — especially eventually got the permanent residency — I genuinely felt that I could finally breathe a little. Even so, this relief came eight years later: from 2008 to 2016. If you ask me what sustained me through those eight years, the answer is simple: “Survive, and try to settle in this country.”

As I’ve said before, life comes in stages, but life itself is just life—real and pain.

4. Understanding the Mind, and Finally Resting the heart (2017–Now)

But I am not that boy anymore, because I understand that all problems arise from assumptions created by the mind. If you can understand how the mind operates, and use meditation to face and transform it, then you have no problems at all.

Yes, in 2017 I joined a meditation centre. I knew clearly that although i was capable of self-regulation, I was also aware one thing: deep inside, there was sadness and depression. So I decided to give the biggest gift to me on 2017. I need a real rest to heal my heart. Life is not about have everything under your dream.

But if you ask me how I am right now, I will tell you: “I am in a good state.”